Dancing in the Dark – Fox

Fox watched a flustered Rabbit suddenly straighten up to kneel with her eyes downcast, her hands resting on her thighs. With a little less urgency, she assumed a similar position on his other side, albeit with a slight smirk playing on her lips.

“Sorry Sir” Rabbit breathed.

“What are you sorry for, Pet?” He asked in a measured voice.

“I wanted to wake you…” Rabbit’s little voice petered off.

“You wanted to wake by sucking my cock?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“And you were sharing it when you got a bit carried away?”

They both nodded. He rested a hand each on their thighs, rubbing gently up and down before taking hold of Rabbit’s hand and squeezing it reassuringly. She looked up and smiled at him, and for a brief moment, Fox felt like she was intruding.

“You aren’t in trouble, Rabbit. That was an amazing way to wake up, thank you. Now, my beautiful girls, shall we continue what you started?”

Fox glanced over at Rabbit and saw her own eager anticipation mirrored there. She leaned towards her and stole a brief kiss before she felt the sting of his hand landing on her arse and heard his grumble of “I meant me!”

She flashed him a grin before joining Rabbit, who was already nestled between his legs and enthusiastically licking his balls. Fox took him deep into her mouth, making him grunt and curse under his breath and she knew she was forgiven. Positioned as she was, she had to adjust the angle of her body to be able to reach him properly, and this meant that her rear end moved closer to him. She moaned around his cock as she felt his fingers teasing her pussy, stroking and rubbing her clit, flitting around her entrance until she spread her legs wider in invitation.

She was rewarded with two fingers plunging and twisting inside her, making her cry out in such surprise that his cock slipped from her mouth. Instantly she doubled her efforts, sucking frantically as he fucked her vigorously with his fingers. To steady herself she gripped his thigh, and a moments later she felt Rabbit’s fingers interlace with her own. Fox felt a little swell in her chest, and felt a rush of joy that she had found two such wonderful people who had welcomed her into their life.

His fingers slipped from her cunt and tapped on her butt, directing her towards him and she had a little internal wriggle of delight when she realised that he wanted to lick her pussy. She relinquished his cock as she manoeuvred herself into position above him, and Rabbit eagerly took over.

Fox reached down and caressed his balls as she felt his breath on her clit. He teased her with gentle flicks of his tongue until she was squirming, but he wrapped his arms around her firmly, holding her in place. She stroked Rabbit’s cheek, and when the she raised her face kissed her deeply before resuming sucking his cock while Rabbit went back to licking his balls and lower.

Now that he had both his girls pleasuring him, he stopped teasing Fox and buried his tongue in her pussy, flicking over and nibbling her clit, licking and suckling and growling, devouring her hungrily until her thighs were quivering. Unable to concentrate on his cock, she threw her head back, her moans growing into cries and her whole body tensed as her orgasm exploded. She shook and gasped as the waves of pleasure slowly receded, and collapsed onto him.

They caressed Fox’s skin, Rabbit stroking her arms and hair, him focusing on her thighs and back. warm and gentle touches along her bare skin. She hummed in pleasure at feeling so many hands on her, and was reluctant to move. His shifting underneath her brought her back to herself, and she carefully climbed off him. He swung his leg over Rabbit who was still crouching between his legs, and he stood at the side of the bed, his cock swaying heavily.

Dazed and jelly-like, Fox heaved her body up to kneel next to Rabbit and awaited his instructions.


Dancing in the Dark – Rabbit

The unusual heat in the bed woke Rabbit just as the first light of the morning crept into the room. For a few moments she lay still, waking up slowly and getting her bearings. It was rare for her to be awake before him. He was definitely more of a morning person than she was, and he often had time to shower and have coffee before she stirred.

On those mornings, he enjoyed waking her by spinning her round and pushing his cock into her warm mouth. He loved the moment when her initial startled resistance disappeared, and she sucked him eagerly.

She remembered the previous day, when he had woken her in this way before spreading her thighs and pushing his fingers into her pussy, sliding in and out, working her clit until she was squirming, and whimpering around his cock.

The memory was enough to make Rabbit’s pussy pulse with lust, and she wriggled a little in the warmth of the bedclothes. As she did, she felt the sleeping body lying next to her shift position, and an idea occurred to her. Since she was awake first for once, it would be a pity to waste the opportunity to wake him up in such an enjoyable way.

Carefully, she extracted herself from the tangle of limbs and positioned herself next to his thigh, tucked into a crouch as she leaned across to gently move the covers back to reveal his cock. She didn’t suppress her smile at the sight of it; while his erections took her breath away and made her see stars as they filled and stretched her, she always found his soft cock to be slightly adorable, a dormant creature that she would coax out of hibernation.

Rabbit got comfortable and very gently stoked the length of his cock with her fingertips. After a few passes it began to thicken under her touch, lengthening as her hand grew bolder. The skin was warm and soft over the hardness beneath.

When Rabbit was satisfied that she had enough to work with, she leaned over a little more and guided him into her mouth, not sucking, just holding him in the warmth and wetness, sliding her tongue along his length. A snuffling moan of pleasure escaped his lips, and Rabbit glanced up to see if she had woken him.

His eyes were closed and his body was relaxed, but his breathing let her know that if he wasn’t awake already he soon would be. She hoped he would be pleased with her. He had never once told her off for sucking his cock without his permission; he loved the fact that she was always eager for it, and there was always a hint of pride in his voice when called her a greedy little cock-slut.

He loved that he could bring that out in her. Still, she always felt a little hesitation when she took charge, even when she was sure it would bring him pleasure.

Rabbit felt movement further up the bed and glanced up. The eyes that met hers were not his, but those of Fox, watching keenly in the half-light. Those eyes were what had earned Fox her name; the first time the three of them had fucked, she had eyed Rabbit eagerly, with the focus of a predator hunting.

He had said afterwards that she had looked like a Fox that wanted to devour his little Rabbit, and it had stuck. She was a marked contrast to Rabbit, lithe and confident with an air of fierceness, where she was quiet and cuddly, exuding comfort and warmth.

Fox watched intently for a few moments, then slid gently down the bed to take up position on his other side. Her hand reached across to tuck Rabbit’s hair behind her ear, then moved to cup and gently squeeze his balls.

Rabbit, knowing how much he liked it when his girls shared, released his cock from her mouth and started to move back to allow Fox her turn, but Fox’s hand stopped her. Fox ran her tongue along one side of his erection, and Rabbit tentatively licked the other side.

They had never done this before, but the warm encouragement in Fox’s expression gave Rabbit confidence, and together they kissed and licked his cock and stroked his balls.

Already aroused, Rabbit was increasingly turned-on by the situation. She found Fox incredibly beautiful and sexy, but was still very timid when it came to acting on it. When all three of them played together it was different, because he made the decisions and gave the instructions.

She felt her tongue slide alongside Fox’s as they reached the tip, and gave a little moan of pleasure. The next pass, they lingered a little longer, their tongues massaging each other as well as the head of his cock. Before long, deep kisses punctuated their licking, and then replaced it as they became caught up in the shared sensation of warmth and desire.

They jumped apart at the sudden sound of a throat being cleared, and looked up to see him awake, with a stern look on his face and an eyebrow raised. His voice was rough with sleep as he spoke.

“Aren’t you two forgetting something?”

Kinky biscuit

I was decorating gingerbread today. This result was kind of inevitable. A gingerbread sub, with icing lingerie, fishnets and collar. She looks pretty happy.

Sinful Sunday

Who are we today?

As loyal readers know, Bear and I don’t see each other as much as we would like. What with children and various other responsibilities, we hope to see each other for two weekends a month, but it’s often less. When we do spend time together, we aren’t constantly being kinky. We are real people trying to maintain a healthy relationship despite the pressures of distance and other complications, and while kink is a necessary part of our relationship, it isn’t the only part. So in practice, it can be a while between kinky play sessions.
Last year we decided to push a few things further, with Bear being more forceful. Not going as far as consensual non-consent, but certainly playing-up the feeling of me being physically overwhelmed and helpless as he fucks me. I love this feeling, with his hands pushing me down and being unable to move, especially when he says filthy things to me. I find it an incredible turn-on and it was like we had discovered an instant slut-button. Our play has been continuing in this vein since then, and it’s been amazing. There have been occasions when I have been magnetically attracted to his cock, literally following it around when he pulled it out of my mouth. Something we were both a bit surprised by, but enjoyed immensely.

Now, it goes without saying that I spend every moment I am away from him missing him terribly, but recently, I have found myself craving him in a different way. Not the forceful Dom who pushes me around in the bedroom when I’m being all slutty. Not the snuggly bear who gives me cuddles on the sofa (although obviously I always miss this bit).
I’m missing the Dom who strokes my hair while I sit at his feet, and makes me feel all loved and cherished and cared for, but definitely still owned. So I feel subby but not necessarily slutty. The feeling I get when he fastens the collar around my neck. I think the focus on the purely sexual side of kink we have had recently has overshadowed the other elements a bit. I want to please him, and be his good girl rather than just his slut.

I mentioned to Bear that I really “missed my Dom”, and his initial (and understandable) suggestion was that he would be extra Domly at the weekend. I was immediately worried that I would get pissy with him if he went for that slut-button, thinking that was what I wanted. I still find it difficult when I feel like I’m “directing” him, and I was a little uncomfortable telling him that wasn’t what I had in mind. But he is awesome and always wants to understand me, so I did my best to explain what I was feeling to him. I think he gets it, and we’re going to have a fantastic weekend.

However, it still feels weird to me to talk about things in this way. Like we are scripting our relationship instead of it happening organically.
Being kinky adds so many facets to the relationship, and we each have various roles that we fill for each other. I am aware that if we are out of sync with which aspects of ourselves we want to express at a given time, it can cause friction, and not the fun kind. I want to be what he wants me to be, but sometimes I just don’t feel it, and then I have to choose between feeling like I’m disappointing him or going with it and hoping for the best. I should say that this is all in my own head, and he would never pressure me to do something I didn’t want to.

I don’t remember having to coordinate like this when I was in a vanilla relationship. It seemed simpler. Yes, there was the clichéd mismatch of expectations, but established vanilla couples don’t usually need to specify exactly what kind of sex they want. They just have sex. They don’t have detailed discussions about showing exactly the right type of affection for their mood that day. But then again, they are frequently frustrated with their partners not being mind readers, so I suppose it all comes back to communication. As much as I find it difficult to be assertive, I don’t expect Bear to know what I’m thinking. While my submission is about giving him control of me, it’s also about learning to take some control of our interaction. Neither of us is just a passenger in this. We both have things we need from each other, and that requires honesty, adaptability and confidence in the other person. We have to trust each other to listen, and to sometimes adjust our initial inclinations. It might make things seem less spontaneous, but I value mutual understanding in a strong relationship much more than spontaneity in an ungrounded one.

Future Here

Only me

Future Here

Hello, only me. Cub mentioned that I haven’t written anything for ages and that she likes to read my poorly written prose. So can you guess what I am doing… Oh wait..you will already know what I am doing, as I would have finished and published this by the time you have even read the first word. There goes my surprise.
Today, we reach October. Three months left of the year two thousand and seventeen anno domini. A year which had seen turbulence around the world. A year where cub is more comfortable getting naked in front of people and a year where I found out I needed to make some lifestyle changes.
Just to be clear not BDSM lifestyle changes but, actual life changes. With BDSM I think I am constantly changing, growing and understanding what I want and what cub wants. Living apart and having brief moments of play has worked well. Of course as I have said before, there will come a time when this is just not enough. I know we will both want more.
This wanting more plays on my mind a lot. More than it probably should. I am happy (ish) at the moment. Work is ok, if a little dull and way underpaid, yet it gives me the flexibility to be a great dad to my kids and the ability to see cub longer than most LDR’s.
It was Louis CK who said in one of his stand-up routines, being a divorce parent is great. You get to have parent time and adult time. You get time with the kids being the parent helping with homework and life skills. Yet for me every other weekend I am free to be an adult and do VERY adult things.So what would a future look like with cub?
It’s clear one of us would need to move. We live 90 minutes apart so any move would involve a new home and new job for at least one of us. Then we have to work out how the other parent of our kids will react and deal with any changes. Then you throw in the logistics of the other parents the children. It’s all rather complex.
Yet, it doesn’t phase me as much as it should. I can foresee the motorway becoming a friend and a foe. I can see integration of parenting styles being an issue and I can see my bad habits being annoying. Yet despite the negatives and the harsh reality that I have no idea how, when or if it would all work. I still want it. I want bad.
I want to come home to cub after work (certainly not a hard day at work). I want to be at home for cub. I want to look after cub, nurture her and protect her. Help her with the boring, grown up stuff we all have to do. Now I think this is a real sign of love, I have already helped her switch energy supplier. That’s my dedication all laid out in cold hard boringness.
I want to do the boring mundane things in life together as a couple. I want to enjoy as much time as I can with cub. From doing the food shop to picking out soft furnishings. I have already been practicing my “that looks nice dear” routine as, well, soft furnishings are so not my thing.
One day things will be different, things will be like a new dawn on a summer day, like a butterfly appearing from its cocoon or like the first time you go to CMnf. Wide eyed with no where to look.*
So there you have it cub. I have done some writing, I have laid out the future, of sorts. I now just need to read this back to see if it makes any sense or if it’s the words of a mad man driven to insanity by the sounds of a kids party. My God it’s fucking noisy.
*As an aside, so many beautiful people at CMnf with so much wonderful body art and decorations. It’s hard to take in some of the designs and not look like you’re ogling.

Hanky Panky Spanky #KOTW

There is something about spanking. It was where it all began for me, the first taste of something wonderful that made me want more. Since realising that I was, in fact, a submissive, I have had the opportunity to learn about and try lots of different things, but spanking is always there, always in the arsenal. Snigger.

Bear and I have floggers and paddles and other implements, and I love it when he uses them on me. I love it when he keeps me guessing, and I love the different sensations. But sometimes I miss the feel of him. The toys put him (literally) at arms length and I crave more contact. With a spanking, he can be so much closer, touch me so much more. My bottom doesn’t always enjoy the process, but the rest of me does.

As much as I love close contact with Bear, we don’t do over-the-knee spanking. We tried it once, early on, but I couldn’t relax. I felt too precarious, perched on his knee like that. That was also the same weekend I asked him to spank me hard. I wanted to prove to myself that I could take it. It was like a point of honour. I remember the first time he left marks, little bruises on my bum, floggers don’t leave bruises, I was ridiculously proud, and twisted round in front of the mirror to admire them.

Recently, Bear has started spanking my pussy more often, something that is incredibly effective. We can be lying next to each other in bed, cuddled and relaxed, and with a hand around my throat and a few spanks on my pussy he can reduce me to a squirming horny mess. Something about it taps straight into that feeling of being a naughty little slut, and I’m wet and willing in seconds.

Yet there is a flip side too, this is when we come to the punishments. It’s amazing how the same physical sensation can feel so different, purely because of our perceptions and feelings about it at the time. I loathe punishment spankings, and I am very appreciative of the fact that I haven’t had very many. But each one hurts, very deeply. The sting multiplied by the knowledge that I have earned each one by disappointing my Dom.

It’s unrealistic to think that I might never have another, but I can hope. I try not to let him down. Not wanting the spanking is at the bottom of the list of reasons why, but I can’t deny it’s on there.

Spanking doesn’t require any special equipment. It lets you take everything back to basics, strip away the toys and implements, and the prop, leaving just the Dominant and the submissive. It’s seems so simple, but is so versatile. A Dom can use it to make his (or her) sub feel so many different things.  It teases, excites, punishes and pleases.
Far be it from me to tell anyone how to “do”  kink, but to me, it is one of the most fundamental acts of BDSM, and I couldn’t imagine a relationship without it.


I feel amazing when… 

… Bear is pleased with me. I’m pretty content most of the time. I quite like my job, I have a comfortable home, and I regularly get to hang out with the most awesome six-year-old in the world. I am happy. But I don’t really feel like am amazing unless I am with my Bear. There is nothing quite like the sense of satisfaction I get when I make him cum. I love that feeling you get that you can’t describe, the one all other subs know and nobody else can understand. The thrill when he tells me that I belong to him. Being his sub is probably the thing I feel I do best. 

I’m a good mum, but any parent knows that you are always aware of the mistakes you have made, the shortcuts we all take sometimes. I could be better, and will always try to be, but I will never be satisfied that I can stop trying. Which is not to say that I am complacent when it comes to being a good submissive, just that I have more confidence. I know when I have made him happy, and I bask in it. His praise makes me glow like nothing else, because I don’t have to question it, or qualify it in my mind. 

I did at first, when we were still learning each other. This is my first (hmm, first implies that I am expecting there to be a second and third. Only?) BDSM relationship. Before Bear and I clicked and decided to meet, I had talked with several potential Doms and they always wanted something I wasn’t confident I could give; high heels, which is definitely not me, or strict rules about waxing and physical appearance, which I didn’t feel were practical for a working mum on a tight budget. Especially one as low-maintenance (lazy) as me. 

If these interactions had progressed to something more, I would have tried. That’s sort of the point, after all. But I didn’t have any confidence that I could do it and so it was a relief when they all came to nothing. But with Bear, it’s so different. 

When we play, I feel like it comes naturally to me, and he communicates so well I never have hesitation or doubts that I am doing it right. I can do this, and do it well. Every little stroke he gives me, every time he says I’ve been a good girl, I know he is proud of me and that makes me proud of myself.

I wasn’t particularly sexually adventurous in my youth. I wouldn’t say I was repressed, but I was always a little too self-conscious to really throw myself into it. Plus, I understand now that I wasn’t getting what I needed back then, and I always felt slightly removed from the experience. I wouldn’t have described myself as a very sexual person. But now, with Bear and the BDSM, that feels very different. On the surface nothing much has changed, but when it’s just us, as Dom and sub, he makes me feel so deliciously slutty and filthy. I love being his slut, and knowing that he likes me that way. I don’t feel awkward or ridiculous or ashamed.  I believe him when he tells me he thinks I’m sexy, so I feel sexy with him. That is not something I have felt before, and it makes me feel amazing.